Unreal...

Today a couple had their separate car keys died on them both on the same day, one after another! How freaky! What kinds of super ultra extra enmeshment just happened? Unreal...

They also tried to save a kitten under the drizzling rain by chasing after it to send it up for adoption...but bearing the keyword "tried"...after being semi-wet, and illegally (pretty sure it's illegal) climbing into the neighbours hourse to reach it, the kitten decided to hide in the bushes and not show herself! Ouch!

What a day?!? 

Nevertheless it was a good day! =)

In the midst of it all...

In the midst of it all...I am thankful that I have you!

(Really, that's all I want and have to say...)

Be it or be it not?

The fact that nothing is permanent can sometimes be just quite daunting.
In fact really, nothing in this world can promise eternity...
Which ponders the question if love is evanescent?
Be it or be it not, enjoy each fruitful day as it comes...
Invest your all in the ones you adore, for you only live once and you have nothing to lose!

"We must realise and be ever conscious of the fact that life is fugacious and ephemeral." 
 — Bobson Gbinije

Have you watched How To Train Your Dragon?

Here is a preview of my version...

You are my Hiccup!

I'm your Toothless dragon. 

You train me, and I will be loyal to you...

I will keep you from other dragons, coz you are (MINE) vulnerable...

We complement each other and are the best when combined!

 

Train your dragon well, for it will be protect you and bring you lots of fun flying you around and about! Wheee! >_<

It is right...

It is right when it feels right.

It feels right to be in a highly stressed situation right now (knowing that the stress will wear and I will be strongER!)

It feels right to be wanting something real bad (knowing that I will be motivated to work hard enough for it!)

It feels right to be in this with you (knowing that I smile myself to sleep and I smile myself awake each day!)

I like it when it feels right! =)

Strike a balance, please?

Sometimes life gets a little boring, evil thoughts randomly attack your mind giving you strange ideas to flea from where you are. Either that or an angelic voice agreeing with you on your current struggles and pain and would like you to continue sinking lower and lower until you hit rock bottom. Other times you go on a high and like a flying balloon you wonder when will ever be on the same level as the clouds (and if you would ever be so lucky to meet Carebears?). But what is life without a taste of some evilness and some sweetness? Good news is that nothing is permanent...you can never get too sad or too happy, too blase or too excited, too bad or too good, too rotten or too beautiful. Life needs to be a fine-tuned journey. If you aim to be happy all the time you'd be manic, or if you dwell in your unhappiness excessively you'd be depressed. I wish to stike a balance and live in moderation. What about you?

What is ADHD??

Here's a taste of what I study/do...Enjoy (not!)... :)

BEHAVIOURAL DEFINITION OF ADHD (made simple!):

ADLIO-HI-CANS

Children with ADHD are often complained for their short ATTENTION SPAN, which make sense that they are eadily DISTRACTED in class. Due to that, they are also perceived to have poor LISTENING, which often leads to inability to follow INSTRUCTIONS. Because they are unble to follow simple guidelines, many at times they would have very limited ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS too. Now all these symptoms point them towards behaving in a HYPERACTIVE and IMPULSIVE manner. When they are unable to sit still and control themselves, it only make sense that they beccome more CARELESS, and somewhat unable to ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY by often blaming others. When they do ruminate in their avoidance for responsibility, they are in fact adopting NEGATIVE ATTENTION SEEKING BEHAVIOURS which result in poor SOCIAL SKILLS and lower SELF ESTEEM.

You...

On days when I don't feel I have the strength to carry on, you are always there to pull me through
Your smile brightens my day, your laughter warms my heart
You are my one and only as well as my number one
You always know what to say and when not to say anything at all
You generously give me your all when all I asked for was a listening ear
I know I can always count on you whenever the world turns its back at me
All you ever wanted is an exchange of a simple smile for every big or little effort you do
How can I ever thank you enough for your genuine care and concern
I must have been touched by an angel
And I am pretty damn sure the angel is YOU!

V for Victory!

What you said to me last night made me renew to a greater length of my admiration towards your courage and your determinism to stay focused and not lose sight. You've boldly declare how badly you've been wanting this, that this has become the be-all and end-all of you...

I know how much this means to you, and believe me when I say I admire your courage and your determinism. As such, I give my word to you...I promise that I will never let you ever go down without a fight. Should you one day lose all energy to keep going, I will stop running my own race, and I will push you from your behind to ensure that you finish the race victoriously!

S for Shit Supervision

It's gonna be a venting entry...

I had the worst supervision ever! Yes, EVER! I'm not exaggerating, only stating the fact!
One of my videos was reviewed by my supervisor, which I was big time surprised by the transcript she's written because the 4 pages full of scribbles would only mean that she had been concentrating in front of the monitor to note my expressions as well as listened to every single word I uttered as I conducted my session. I was both very grateful and impressed that she took me so seriously that my trail of endless mistakes/faults due to my incompetence and inadequacy were jotted down one by one and then processed during supervision, which lasted for approximately 45 minutes. In the 45 minutes with her as we went through my "ares of improvement", the feeling was not nice! On one hand I felt like I was being punished as my mistakes were picked out one by one with no mercy at all, but then on the other hand, I felt like my wound were being cleaned and dressed to perfection by a gentle and caring supervisor. I must admit that I have never felt this way for a while.

As I reflect upon what I did which were (mostly) wrong in the last session, I really cannot pinpoint it to anything at all. Though I feel incompetent but my confidence is not hampered. I know I am inadequate, but I am not at all limiting myself to absorbing as much knowledge as I possibly can. I kept reminding myself that I have done this before, I used to do it so well, and therefore there is no reason for such carelessness or decline in skills. I know I am capable!

Right now, I feel like an ant. I know an ant may be small and could not be noticed by many before being stepped and ignored. But on the flip side of it, I know what an ant is capable of. An ant is hardworking and wise! I may look like a fool in the eyes of my supervisor now, but at least I am teachable and I strive to improve. If anything, this had renewed my impression on supervision and on my work in general - to take this seriously, damn seriously! and also take pride in the job I do. My past experience with supervision were most of the time pleasant and pleasing. This whole new experience had given me a refreshing start which I am confident that it will only make me better!

"Ants are creatures of little strength, yet they store up their food in the summer." Proverbs 30:25

"Go to the ant, you sluggard, consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest." Proverbs 6:6-7

What is it?

Weekday birthdays:
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Throw you a party this weekend, yeah? Too much hassle to have it today seeing that it's Monday, bad traffic everywhere and moreover tomorrow we'll have to wake up early for work! So, see you this weekend!" --> But a person's birthday only happens once a year, even so can't you make that little sacrifice to celebrate it on the day itself?

Have not found the "perfect" gift (yet):
"Hey, I'm so sorry I have not found the perfect gift for you! I've looked around a few shopping malls and still can't find something fitting for you! Owe it to you first, ya...I have something in mind for you, once I get my hands on them, I'd send it to you right away!" --> Really? You have been looking? If you know jolly well that you need to get a gift for a certain occasion by a certain date, can't you take the effort to start looking and organise yourself a little earlier? Well if it is important to you, I don't see why not!

Monetary gifts:
"Here's a small red packet for you! I figured I'm lousy at getting gifts, would be much better than I gave you some cash and you can go spoil yourself." --> Lousy at getting gifts or just another excuse for being lazy? Don't you want the person to remember you by that something you went through great lengths to get him/her?

Combined celebration:
"Since it's your birthday and our anniversary this month, let's have a double celebration at one go! We'd go and have a fancy dinner end of this month to celebrate both occasions so we won't need to crack our heads to think of where to go for two separate events!" --> Hmmm, this is unfair! The person did not ask for her birthday to be two days before her anniversary, did she? Two separate occasions deserve two separate celebrations. It's definitely not a hassle, it's another reason for celebration!

How do you justify these situations? Are these genuine responses or responses for convenience's sake? Is it our lifestyle? Is it because we are trapped in the hussle and bustle of our busy-bee society, which makes us become less thoughful and more of a slacker? I have no idea, I sometimes find myself being trapped in such excuses as well. But when I think of how important that person is to me, I try to go the extra mile to make the person feel special. I know sometimes we can't help it due to our busy schedules and what not. As I am expressing my thoughts at the moment, I can't help but feel extremely guilty for all the birthdays of special people I missed especially in the last year. Things that have passed unfortunately I cannot change, however I am fortunate for today and many tomorrows. As such, I shall try to mark down those special days and make sure they don't go unnoticed! ;)

North, South, East or West?

Have you ever felt like a little mouse chasing after a piece of cheese dangling in front of you? That's a bit of what I'm feeling now. In fact, there is not only a single block of cheese in front of me, there are multiple. All equally nice tasting, and all equally as high quality. What do you do when situation is calling for you to choose one of of the many? Although being given the hint that they all taste equally as good and maintain an equal high standard, how would you go about picking the best piece for you? Most importantly, how do you know what you have picked will serve as the best for you?

Sometimes, the best thing to do is really just to listen to your heart. But what do you do when your heart is not saying anything to you? It's all a matter of timing, really? Does that mean I keep sitting on it and eventually something might happen? I would like to think that I want it hard enough and therefore sacrifices are worth the while. But the thing now is that whichever way I choose, I seem to be sacrificing something anyway. OMG...life is complicated? I want to live a simple life! Or Simpler! :p

The Month of February...

Is it an advantage or a disadvantage that Chinese New Year 2010, so happen to fall on the same day as Valentine's Day??!?!? Is it going to be a double celebration or a deprieved celebration? Will I be seeing more red roses on the streets or more red packets in the bag? :p

Your happiness is mine too...

I'm not one who likes to show off, simply because it's simple enough that I know I'm not. I know how uncomfortable it is for the receiving party when people brag on about what's new and dear to them. Although I know sometimes that we cannot help but get so caught up in our own happiness that we put others down or unconsciously describe ourselves in lingo such as "us" versus "them". I know I don't like to be put in such situation and therefore, I am very careful as not to put anyone through such agony.

However, this is slowly becoming a problem for me as nowadays I adopt the idea that whenever I share good news with others, I am highlighting my happiness, and that to me is almost becoming a taboo. It's almost like me telling people about my success would mean that I'm putting myself on the pedestal. As a result, many at times, I find that I hesitate a lot to share good news with others. I'm not sure if I cannot or I dare not express myself. "Cannot" because I'm afraid that I may offend others who are probably not on the same boat as myself and "dare not" for the fear of losing such happiness too early, too soon.

So what exactly is my problem? I cannot be happy for myself? I cannot express happiness? This sometimes frustrates me as I hear other people brag and go on and on and on about their satisfaction in life. When they do tell me something pleasant about their lives/jobs/relationships/families/etc, I do get very excited for them. In fact, I love to hear happy reports from poeple. I really do feel happy for them and I genuinely smile from the inside as I embrace their news as my own. It's really effortless for me to be happy for others, but how come when it comes to dealing with my own happiness, I feel a sense of guardedness??

Future?

Just a random thought...I wonder what would the future look like for me??

I entertain this thought from time to time, think for a while until no conclusions can be made, feel a bit restless and unsure and usually let out a long sigh as I snap myself back to reality. It is scary sometimes when you do think to yourself, "gee if this or that had/n't happen, I'd be doing this or that?!?!?" I don't regret for the things I have done or have not done in the past. I am looking forward to a hopeful future. Just that at this point in time, future seems way too far away. As I slowly sail through my here and now, I sometimes wish someone/something could assure me that my future can look a certain way.

As I said, just a random thought...

Ello says Hello!

Ello is a new pet I received a little over three weeks ago...Apparently the person who gave it to me said that elephant symbolizes strength, humbleness and hard work. Upon receiving Ello, the student in me had decided to sit him upon a pedestal on my study desk to remind me of it's wonderful traits as a strong, humble and hardworking animal. I immediately fell in love with it and wish to share that with you. If you are wondering what could be of guidance to you this year, maybe try being like Ello?!?!? ;) (p/s: that's Ello after having McD's for breakfast...it's all full and very satisfied with both food and toy!)

Fruit of the week: "Be Encouraged!"
Whatever that you are pursuing at this point in time, please be reminded to "be encouraged". Sometimes, it's easy to lose sight of the greater picture when we only dwell on current our pains/obstacles. Let us be encouraged to continue fighting the battle and work hard at achieving whatever we've have set out to achieve! =) Gambate!!

Warming Up!

Slowly warming up to the load...After not seeing clients for about a month and a bit, it almost feels like all skills harvested before the holidays just conveniently flew out the window. Sad, ain't it?!?

At times like this, it helps to remind myself that "I am here to learn!" Though different supervisors means different approach and what not, I still only have one objective that I cling on to, "I choose this site to get my hands dirty, and therefore soaking my hands in mud and shit is expected for the sake of L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G!"

Though the brain engine does take a bit more time to warm up to the demands, I must not lose sight, and always remember that my "BEAUTIFUL HEART" is polished to be "SERIOUS" and "PURPOSEFUL".

External Practicum

I don't really know how to describe my feelings at the moment. I'm one step closer to becoming a professional?? I don't know if I can put it that way...anyway tomorrow will mark the beginning of my External Practicum. Along with excitement of seeing REAL DEAL clients, I'm also very anxious about my own capabilities. I'm not sure if it's self-confidence but I have a feeling it's not. It's more like knowing I'd be thrown into the deep sea, not having my 10 other classmates there to vent and to support when things get a lil rough is quite daunting! It's at times like this that makes me realise how much my fellow classmates have contributed to the successful completion of my last 3 semesters! Not easy at all, but with them, they make it easiER. Together we shared our load, we embraced in each others' successes, we support each others' weaknesses, we encourage, we played, we fought (and we fought hard!), we did most things as a team. Now that we'll be going our separate ways as we start our external practicum, I wish each and every one of us the best of luck! Though we'll be seeing lesser of each other, let's not forget how efficient we were as a team and let's continue to be of encouragement to each other!

Is does sound like I'm going through separation anxiety...whatever it is, the lil stress that I'm feeling could just be a good thing I hope! =)

To External Practicum! =)

New Year, New Beginnings!

I've never done anything like this before, and to add to it, I have never thought I was competent enough to be holding down a job like that...I guess to a new beginning, I shall dig up my courage, have a taste of it, let my hair down, and enjoy myself??

I was selected as a teaching assistant for one of the subjects along with another coursemate! Woohoo! "Congratulations, Chelle!" I know...for those of you who know me, you know how much this sort of thing isn't really my kinda thing? But hey, to everything, there is first! And to this, how else would I wanna have a taste of it if it was not one of the subjects I am passionate about? Anyway, I see this as a milestone in my life. And to those who say "never" to some things, think again! "Never say never..." for you never know when you'll be called up!

As with my new year resolution to keep my dreams at heart and to fight hard for them, I think this is a fantastic place to start! =) Everyone out there, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I know this will be a great year, so play hard, folks!

Little Miss Intimidating

Of late I have been very irritated by childish behaviour displayed by one of the many people I know. She is one who thinks the world of herself, clearly egocentric to the core, and neither has she got shame nor guilt for her filthy behaviour. She is one who would like to come across as the no-nonsense person attempting to present herself to be as professional as she can be, but at the same time having next to zero of any interpersonal relationship skills. I'm clearly unsure if she is just putting on a mask to reflect her superiority or if she really thinks of herself as a super goddess!

Anyway, she would not even be worth a mention for all the nonsense she's done to try to inflict pain onto those around her. I have no idea if she did them intentionally or not. I don't know, and quite honestly don't care. I have lost all respect for her as a person when I learnt how nasty she can get. I would rather stay off her radar!

Now if you have a problem with someone, clearly wanting to present yourself as someone so professional, you would do the appropriate by addressing the problem and not the person right? I have no idea what game is this person attempting to play. But get this, I have been nice enough to entertain your nastiness all these while. Despite all the shit you have done, to date I still reponded to your jokes, your comments, your responses...because I understand respect and am capable of resisting being a childish being like you. Right from this second, I am giving your no priviledge. You will be invisible in my eyes, and I will not give a damn what you do. For you will not initimidate me because you are powerless to me! Powerless in my eyes! So long, and farewell!