HEY JUDE

Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude, don't be afraid
You were meant to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Well don't you know it's a food who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

Hey Jude! Don't let her down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude
You'll do the movement you need is on your shoulder

Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better

(Written by: Lennon / McCartney)

WHICH PLAYGROUND ARE YOU PLAYING ON?? *Wondering* Which playground am I playing on?!?!? Okay, it's 12:30am, I'm still awake!! I'm suppose to be in bed by now, but obviously I'm still up and so don't feel like sleeping!! Just when I thought things are beginning to work out well, someone just has to poke an itchy finger in and make things bad...why?? I really, seriously wonder why...I'm so sick of this whole thing!! Call it a game if you want to!! I'm sick, I'm tired and I don't feel like playing anymore!! I wanna quit!! This is enough!! I hate to always have to worry, think and pretend!! You wanna know how I'm feeling?? Great, I'll let you in to how I'm really feeling...I feel like shit!! I feel useless, my heart is broken...feels like someone has just ripped it apart, I feel helpless, I feel insecure, I feel lousy, I feel...oh well, I just don't feel a thing anymore, how about that?!?! Everytime just when I'm ready to regain confidence and when I think I'm ready to move on, surprises shoot up!! Something has to come along to grab my heart, sink it, stab it and then drag me into a tunnel of darkness and throw me into the deep deep ocean where I'd feel lost, fearful, scared, anxious, hopeless and heartbroken. Why do I even have feelings?? Does anyone care about my feelings?? I hate to think of what to think about when things happen!! It numbs me...it scares me...it affects me!! So now tell me, does this game allow for changing players?? Pick someone else, why pick me?!?!? I wanna QUIT, now leave me alone!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TONY!! Life...Life is like a playground...you play hard and you fall hard, you pick yourself up and you play again...fall, and up and play again...it goes on and on and on till one day you're sick of this playground, you'll just knock off!! Last night a group of us got together to celebrate Tony's (my ex-(Payne Street)housemate) 22nd birthday. As I was sitting there just looking at each of us a thought crossed my mind...each of us, from different backgrounds, different walks of life, different mentality, different needs, different wants, different desires, different perspectives...haih...very different in so many ways, but yet ironically so alike in so many ways as well!! Each has different stories to tell, different things happening in their lives, different pace of life...!! I only meet these guys probably at most twice or three times each year for a get together to celebrate birthdays, etc., but yet everytime we get together, everyone is in a different phase of life...As I observed through conversations and talks, we're all playing different scenes in different playgrounds. Some played on the same field before, some stopped by but didn't quite like it, some never even been to where others have gone before...somehow couple of times a year we'll all meet in this particular playground and revisit where we left the last time. Some would continue to climb the monkey bar, some just slide down the spiral slide, some just sit and watch, some waiting for their turns...but whatever it is, what's important is that which ever playground you're playing on, play with respect, confidence and pride...do not lose yourself in your own playground. Hold on to your own beliefs, never let anyone let you down...if you fall, pick yourself up and try again!! If it doesn't work, hop on to another playground...!! Life's a playground itself...Love it!!

AS INNOCENT AS A CHILD...John always does things that amuses me...!! This morning he caught my attention for the one zillionth time!! John woke up rather early this morning, cooked himself something to eat from the kitchen, after which he headed for the wooden door and kept it open, held a text book in his hand, hoping that I'd buy into the idea that he's really studying...every vehicle that passes by caught his attention, more so if it were a bike. He poked his head out each time he heard passerby passing by. And not to mention the countless times he ran out to check on the letter box today. For a minute, as I was watching him, I thought to myself, "what is he up to?!?!?!" Then it came to mind that he's waiting on a parcel from Melbourne that he bought from online!! *Sigh* John never fails to make me laugh at his child-like-ness!! He's like this little boy waiting so eagerly for a new toy to be sent to him that he wouldn't even sit 1 metre away from the door and wouldn't allow the door to shut just so that he doesn't miss mr postman when he delivers his parcel!! He's truly like a little boy trapped in a body of a 25!! Anyway, after such a long wait, he finally shut the door closed as the clock struck 5pm...coz he knows that mr postman had probably already gone home and that he has to wait for yet another day!! So, tomorrow, I hope his parcel arrives...if not he will be a disappointed little boy (yet again!!)...It just funny how we sometimes put on our little kiddo pants and behave in such child-like manner...I guess without us realising it makes it innocent too!! =)

JOHN and CHELLE at RIVERFIRE 2005!! Was so much fun seeing the sky lit up with beautiful glitters and sparkles and colours!!

RIVER FIRE 2005 (I'm absolutely clueless when it comes to computer stuff which explains why I don't have a clue as to why the picture didn't load where I wanted it to!!)

RIVER FIRE 2005 on 3rd September...great fireworks dancing from buildings, bridges and river of Brisbane. A colourful 30minutes presentation of stardust raining from the skies with cool music accompanying it!! If only we get raining stardust every other day...ehehheheh!! That would be sooooooooo totally cool!! =)

MY GRADUATION DAY...Finally!! *phew* I finally did it on the 22nd July 2005!! My beloved family flew from KL and HongKong to join me here in Brissy for my special occasion!! It was such a top of the world feeling to finally wear the graduation gown and especially to have my family by my side cheering me on as I walk across the stage to receive my award!! =) Also a special thanks to everyone who came to cheer me on!! ;)

CLASSY QUEEN...Made up of 8mm glass frosted white beads, 6mm purple glass faceted beads and tiny clear tube beads. This piece spells elegance...very classy and pretty!! The flower can be worn either in the center of off center depending on your own preferance. This peice has been made ages ago...but it's just that I couldn't find time to load it because of work. I'm now working almost FULL TIME at Shiki's...making me very tired and exhausted after work everyday which explains why I never seem to have time for anything else!! ;) Today is different...I've been down with a viral infection!! Since Saturday my head's been throbbing, ran a temperature, had sore throat, coughing, flu, diarrhoea...oh well you name it, I've got it!! I was so sick, I couldn't even go to work yesterday and this morning when I woke up I thought I might be able to do it, but then again...nope!! My head was soooooooo heavy and it felt like I had some heavy metal band jamming from inside my head!! So instead of going to work, I got a friend to replace me (thank goodness for understanding friends like Jaime!!) and off I went to Toowong medical centre to see a doctor (also coz Melissa reminded me that I have to see a doc...thanks Mel, so sweet of yoU!!)...was secretly hoping that the doctor would say something like, "I think you really have to consider working somewhere else...coz the hot pan and all the cooking and stress from there is doing you no good!!"...muahahhahahhah!! But instead he said, "You really need a few days of good rest before I get yourself back to work!!"...ahahahhahha, which is not quite a bad thing, at least the doctor thinks I need A FEW DAYS OF GOOD REST...Oh well, I really think I do...Initially I thought my wisdom tooth was gonna grow, that's why my gums were swallon and my head throbbing and the fever and all (coz I remembered when my little cousin was a couple of months old, and expecting his first tooth, he was down with fever and things like that...maybe I forgot I'm like 21 yrs old?!?!?)...well, turned out to be yet another prank!! No signs of wisdom tooth growing as of yet!! =) I hope my headache will go away soon, coz I don't think I can tolerate another day of sleeping in bed for more than 12 hours!! I so feel like smashing my head against the wall when I woke up this morning and it was still throbbing!! Enough is enough!! How many days do you wanna keep me off my job?!?!??! How much attention do you need from me?!?!?!??! Go away you headache nonsense!! Goooooooooo!! (",)