Now Farah and I seem to be the only two lost people in this big fat world.
If you have a goal and working towards something in life, if you are focused and know what you want in life, if you are determined and work very hard for what you want, then good on you! =) (and I truly mean it!)
Being lost and confused is not a very pleasant feeling. For those who don't have this problem to worry about, here you'll get a taste of it. It feels like your time is ticking super fast and you are running out of time but yet not knowing the answer to the big question in life, "What would you like to be when you grow up?" Do you get questions like that while growing up? I surely did, each year before we commence the school curriculum for the year we'd be pulled up one by one by our class teacher with this golden question, "What would you like to be when you grow up?" Now as far as I can remember these were the few ambitions that I have put my hand up for before: Teacher, Lawyer, Doctor, Air Stewardess, Architect, Psychologist. How did I end up having these ambitions?
Teacher - According to my mom, every young girl would have this ambition at at least one stage of her life. I'm guessing because it is the earliest exposure we get from seeing our own teachers at work, having the whole class wrapped around her little finger.
Lawyer - I grew up all the first few years of primary school being pulled to sit next to the teacher in class simply because I talk too much and was such a distraction to other students. And teachers always have this stupid comment about me growing up as a lawyer one day because I talk so much. These teachers obviously have no idea what a lawyer does? Anyway, this have sorta got into me thinking "Great, all I need to do it to talk and I'll be a lawyer, I should be a lawyer then!"
Doctor - Who wouldn't want to be the person in the white coat and a stethoscope hanging over her neck? Sometimes with a needle to poke into some naughty girl's bottom too! Each time when I feel unwell, I go to the doctor and he/she will treat me, give me a lollipop and well I become! Therefore doctor came along too.
Air Stewardess - My first trip to HK with my grandma when I was a kid. I was just mesmerized by how beautiful this particular air stewardess was and I told my grandma, "popo, when I grow up I want to be just like this beautiful jea-jea, work in an airplane and fly all over the world!"
Architect - Was my dad's ambition. Don't know how it became mine along the way.
Phychologist - I wanted to be a counsellor actually but guess psychologist sounds more sophisticated, that was why it was chosen.
Well, now I'm neither of any of the above mentioned! Sometimes I feel very inferior the fact that I have not achieved anything concrete since I left school. What do I do? I cannot waste anymore time and I definitely cannot be lingering around doing nothing. I have resorted to believing that everything happens for a reason. Being lost is very tiring and very confusing. Don't know how logical this may sound but I guess being in the state of "lostness" is when we are being prepared for the "harvest". Don't know what I'll be harvesting but it has to be something good. In a few years I will look back and laugh at this experience. For as long as I have lived, I have not heard of someone being lost all his/her live. Therefore, I think this has to be temporary. I will end up somewhere one day, and it will be good. All will be planned and all will work out. I just need to hang in there and wait for my turn. When it comes, I will be so prepared that I will have a goal to work towards!
Nomore ambitions for me, it's time for the real world! At least now I know what I'm looking for in my next real world job:
1) Travel would be good
2) Contact with people
3) I've started to feel comfortable in the tertiary education sector
4) No desk-bound please
5) Company which cares to its employees
6) Professional dress code
7) Nice colleagues
8) No repetitive data entry please
9) Flexible working style
10) Flexible working hours
Maybe one day I will have an ambition again. Hopefully by then I will know what I really want in life! Till then I will keep hanging on...
3 comments:
I wanted to be a cop, so that I can shoot bad guys ... hahaha.
Then when I was form4, I knew I was going to be in I.T
omg your criteria for the kind of job you're looking for is exactly what i want too! though i'm a bit more idealistic - i don't want a boss :P maybe that's why we're so lost? we've got such strict criteria!! well in the words of Mr Gerry Louis; "at least we know what we want/don't want in a job.." but uncle, WHAT job is that??
and it's interesting that you even mentioned you wanted to be a psychologist/counselor when you want to grow up, i didn't even know what psychology was until after SPM. O_O
anyway let's journey together and see what we find :)
i wanted to be a lawyer. Wait, i still want to be a lawyer now.
Oh I did really wanted to be a veterinarian. Saving animal's lives.
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