Lost

Now Farah and I seem to be the only two lost people in this big fat world.

If you have a goal and working towards something in life, if you are focused and know what you want in life, if you are determined and work very hard for what you want, then good on you! =) (and I truly mean it!)

Being lost and confused is not a very pleasant feeling. For those who don't have this problem to worry about, here you'll get a taste of it. It feels like your time is ticking super fast and you are running out of time but yet not knowing the answer to the big question in life, "What would you like to be when you grow up?" Do you get questions like that while growing up? I surely did, each year before we commence the school curriculum for the year we'd be pulled up one by one by our class teacher with this golden question, "What would you like to be when you grow up?" Now as far as I can remember these were the few ambitions that I have put my hand up for before: Teacher, Lawyer, Doctor, Air Stewardess, Architect, Psychologist. How did I end up having these ambitions?

Teacher - According to my mom, every young girl would have this ambition at at least one stage of her life. I'm guessing because it is the earliest exposure we get from seeing our own teachers at work, having the whole class wrapped around her little finger.

Lawyer - I grew up all the first few years of primary school being pulled to sit next to the teacher in class simply because I talk too much and was such a distraction to other students. And teachers always have this stupid comment about me growing up as a lawyer one day because I talk so much. These teachers obviously have no idea what a lawyer does? Anyway, this have sorta got into me thinking "Great, all I need to do it to talk and I'll be a lawyer, I should be a lawyer then!"

Doctor - Who wouldn't want to be the person in the white coat and a stethoscope hanging over her neck? Sometimes with a needle to poke into some naughty girl's bottom too! Each time when I feel unwell, I go to the doctor and he/she will treat me, give me a lollipop and well I become! Therefore doctor came along too.

Air Stewardess - My first trip to HK with my grandma when I was a kid. I was just mesmerized by how beautiful this particular air stewardess was and I told my grandma, "popo, when I grow up I want to be just like this beautiful jea-jea, work in an airplane and fly all over the world!"

Architect - Was my dad's ambition. Don't know how it became mine along the way.

Phychologist - I wanted to be a counsellor actually but guess psychologist sounds more sophisticated, that was why it was chosen.

Well, now I'm neither of any of the above mentioned! Sometimes I feel very inferior the fact that I have not achieved anything concrete since I left school. What do I do? I cannot waste anymore time and I definitely cannot be lingering around doing nothing. I have resorted to believing that everything happens for a reason. Being lost is very tiring and very confusing. Don't know how logical this may sound but I guess being in the state of "lostness" is when we are being prepared for the "harvest". Don't know what I'll be harvesting but it has to be something good. In a few years I will look back and laugh at this experience. For as long as I have lived, I have not heard of someone being lost all his/her live. Therefore, I think this has to be temporary. I will end up somewhere one day, and it will be good. All will be planned and all will work out. I just need to hang in there and wait for my turn. When it comes, I will be so prepared that I will have a goal to work towards!

Nomore ambitions for me, it's time for the real world! At least now I know what I'm looking for in my next real world job:

1) Travel would be good
2) Contact with people
3) I've started to feel comfortable in the tertiary education sector
4) No desk-bound please
5) Company which cares to its employees
6) Professional dress code
7) Nice colleagues
8) No repetitive data entry please
9) Flexible working style
10) Flexible working hours

Maybe one day I will have an ambition again. Hopefully by then I will know what I really want in life! Till then I will keep hanging on...

Surprise gone sour...

I should be writing this from the Marriott Hotel in Gold Coast tonight however, thanks to a surprise that had gone sour I am writing this entry from the comfort of my own home tonight!

Last week Friday, John and I would have known each other for 5 years! In celebration of the 5th year into our relationship, John has decided to pack me a surprise which had to be delayed a week later due my work commitment in Hong Kong.

I arrived back to Brisbane on Tuesday and from then on, John had constantly reminded me to "pack for the evacuation!". I didn't really bother to take him seriously as I thought to myself, some screw in him must have come lose in him! Anyway, last night he finally let the cat out. He told me that he had organised a weekend get-away for the two of us. Therefore I have to pack an overnight bag. And so I did (the next morning, of course!).

First stop of the "evacuation" was a very satisfying Hong Kong breakfast at Sunnybank, followed by shopping trip at Harbour Town, Ice Cream at Movenpick and finally check-in into Marriott Gold Coast.

Upon arrival at the hotel, the front desk staff looked puzzled with the confirmation receipt that John had presented. We looked at him thinking he must have been over-worked! He looked at us again with this look on his face which spelt we were from another planet! And then we looked on the confirmation receipt and it has stated, Check-in date: 19 August 2008, Chek-out date: 20 August 2008! By this time I had to chuckle a laugh which very quickly, within seconds turned into steam blowing out of my ears and red veins popping out of my eyes! Very upset I was at John for being a scatterbrain consistently! Many things I can tolerate but having a scatterbrain which puts him out-of-tune in this moving world is unacceptable in my world!

John has apologised so many times like he had never apologised before! In my heart, he has already been forgiven from the moment we stepped into the hotel - for all the effort, I truly appreciate and am truly touched! But for the scatterbrain part of things, geez louise! Michelle is really not impressed at all! How can anyone ever make such trivial mistake?!?!?!??! This I do not underdstand, which resulted in a silent car ride back to Brisbane immediately! I know this will be something I'd be laughing about days later but the moral of the whole story is that John having a scatterbrain is not acceptable! I have nagged at him so much about being more organised, being more careful with things, being more responsible with his belongings, having more sense of urgency, bla bla bla...obviously all on deaf ears, all in vain...I simply know it now how useless to nag because the John I know is still the John I knew (after 5 long years, nothing has changed!)!

Mannequin Stealer

Came home this evening to find that my pair of mannequin stored in our carpark space missing! I'm a little disturbed the fact that there is a pervert living around this compound who goes around stealing ladies' mannequin?!?!??!?! Don't really make sense but I'm really angry that some random person STOLE MY MANNEQUINS!! Do you know how freaking difficult was it to lug these bulky life-size partial representation molds of the ladies' human body back from KL to Brsibane?!?!?!??!? WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLL!!

p/s: There are some rude little pigs out in this big fat giant world! *Argh!*

P-Plate Swimmer

I cannot swim. Up until today I have attempted several swimming lessons by a few different coaches but still nothing changed --> P-Plate-Swimmer!

Attempted swimming again today. Jessie and I decided to go to QUT Swimming Pool in Gardens Point campus. Was quite nerve wrecking to have "serious swimmers" in the pool.  There were people doing laps, kids swimming in the 1.8 meter pool, and other swimmers training with professional swimmers. I braved myself, dipped in the luke-warm water and started kicking with my head buried under the water. Anyway, there was something I was taught today - lifting my head to breathe! 

For once I feel quite good in the water, like I have achieved something BUT still CANNOT SWIM!! *Shy Shy* Ahahhaha! I was kicking with the help of a kickboard and lifting my head up to scoop air and dip down and exhale through my nose. That was what a did for around about 4 laps (not continuos of course). I tried learning the legs movements for breaststroke, but I think Jessie needs a little more patience with me for quite some time before I coordinate myself to try to stay afloat reminding myself to keep kicking, keep breathing and just keep swimming, hehhe!

Nothing That Don't Kill Me Can Only Make Me STRONGER!

After keeping my silence for a bit more than a week about the "ideal" job that came my way, way too easily from an employer in KL, here is the truth ---> I GOT PLAYED OUT!

Apparently a new investor has joined the board of directors and majority of the board has decided to put a hold on all employment until a later date. I have been extremely patient with them although it took a freaking 5 months for them to come to the conclusion. I patiently sat through a 250 questions personality test, an Excel test, several telephone interview, and reference check between them and my current employer. Thank the Gods of all Gods that I have not done the final thing which is to tender my resignation! Well, I won't be that stupid to be doing that before I receive anything formal from them. But the fact of the matter is that this company has led me to believe that I have been successful in securing this job and that they were "finalising" it and that they will get back to me soon! That aside, it's the principles of this whole ordeal that makes me sick!  

If I was stupid enough to learn nothing from this, I will have to knock it in my head that there are some very atrocious people out there! Needless to say this whole drama of the century has screwed my plans upside down! My thoughts of doing the right thing, to secure a job before relocating home is becoming more and more distant. Sometimes you just have to be realistic - floating on cloud 9 too easily could result in falling off cloud 9 having all hopes deflated! 

There were temptations for me to just stay behind and heck the relocation because at that time that was the easiest thought to entertain. However, I have decided: I WILL BE RELOCATING HOME IN SEPTEMBER 2008! Regardless of tsunami, cyclone or drought! That is what I will be doing. And it is final! "Nothing that don't kill me can only make me STRONGER!"* 

I will accommodate, be flexible and take each day as it comes...

Wish me luck people, my journey of typical job hunting will commence upon my arrival to my homeland... *WooHooYeeeeeHa!* Bring it on!

Shit Happens

And when shit happens, it strikes real hard!

I feel like banging my head against the brick wall!

Frustration is when I feel like clenching and grinding my teeth till no enamel left to do no nothing!

I want to rip every strand of my hair on my head!

Anger is when I clench my fist so tight that my nails pierce through the skin on my palm!

I hope to throw a cow-dunk pie right into your face!

Annoyance is when plans are wrecked and working out of my control!

Then again, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness are the fruit of life!

p/s: REAL frustration, anger and annoyance is when I can't even hold a conversation with you without ending in a flippin argument! Don't people converse and communicate anymore? What in the world happened to conversations? Damn technology for programing bloody robots into human beings! This world doesn't need opinionated buggers lingering about!

**ARghhhhhhh!!! And she's gone back to sticking her head in the brick wall, plucking strands of her hair off her head and feeding more bananas to bloody cows so that she gets a BIGGER and SOFTER cow-dunk pie!!**

Flip this Flippin Floppy Flap!! And Michelle is REALLY angry!!

One More Sleep!

One more sleep till John comes home!! =)

I miss my friend, my entertainer, my personal chef, my chauffeur, my bodyguard, my housemate, my butler, my shopping companion, my happiness, my cheeky monkey, my life coach, my everything, MY JOHN!! 

You don't know how much you rely on your other half until you're forced to be miles apart...There is a relationship that has been built on from a lot of time spent together, a lot of arguments resolved, a lot of learning from each other, a lot of sharing and caring. 

On the flip side of it, people engaging in LDR, in particular those who have not met each other, mostly Internet "relationships", how would you class that as a relationship? How would a relationship establish? How would you rely on the other person when you have not been physically together, have not experienced life together? Therefore, my question is how would you have that urge to want to be with the person? What motivates you to go the extra mile in investing in this "relationship"? Even being with a person you see physically, it would take a lot of effort for one to give and take in a relationship, I just find it very hard to understand what the motivations are for people involved in Internet "relationships". Is it lust that keeps the "relationship" going? Or simply the fun of it?

Thought of the day...

What would you do to prevent a drop of water from drying out?

You simply throw it back into the sea...

The Last Goodnight

Hey, last week I went to do something out at the ordinary which I thought I might just share. The Last Goodnight was here in Australia promoting their second single, "Stay Beautiful". I really like their album - POISON KISS. The lead sings with such great passion, so much emotions and their lyrics are simple and right to the point, I just love the album. Anyway, back to my point, they were promoting their album here in Australia, a small promo sponsored by Aldo. They were at the Brisbane store at Queen Street Mall. Gee, the whole queuing and getting squashed, and autograph session felt so like high school days (reminded me of my "meeting" with Mr Ronan Keating at Tower Records back in 2000 - Can't believe it's 8 freaking years ago!). Well all in all, was a great night! He sounded so much better live actually. I just adore this band, the lead singer in particular. *WiNk*

Strong yet weak...

There is so much happening in my life, yet...nothing has actually really happened! Demons stirring me up emotionally and psychologically - mental block, emotional downpour, mood swings, stress, etc, etc, etc. I feel like there is a mental race in everything I do and yet I'm not really doing anything? It's a strange feeling. I'm tired, yes I am...you demons, bugger off! Leave me alone...

Bear with me while I sort these little shits out...

p/s: I don't know how I got sucked into this downward spiral...Must be something in the chilly Brissy air...

Pictures of You...

Pictures of You 

(By The Last Goodnight)

This is the clock up on the wall

This is the story of us all

This is the first sound

Of a new born child before he starts to crawl

This is the war that's never won

This is the soldier and his gun

This is the mother waiting by the phone

Praying for her son

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Remind us all of what we used to be

There is a drug that cures it all

Blocked by the governmental wall

We are the scientists inside the lab

Just waiting for the call

This earthquake weather has got me shaking

Inside I'm high up and dry

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Remind us all of what we used to be

Confess to me every secret moment

Every stolen promise you believe

Confess to me, all that lies between us

All that lies between you and me

We are the boxers in the ring

We are the bells that never sing

There is a title we can't win

No matter how hard we must swing

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Hung up on the wall for the world to see

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Remind us all of what we could have been

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Remind us all of what we could have been

Could have been, we could have been

Picture of you, pictures of me

Remind us all of what we could have been

~*X*~

Rest assured pictures of us will be kept safely within a special place in my heart...locked away, and sealed with happy smiles...Pictures of us, history of the past...With this I congratulate you and your wife-to-be, wishing you well as you've finally found a happy ending to this chapter of your life...

~XOXO~

6 years ago, I celebrated by 18th birthday...

My colleague turned 18 today and she asked me what happened on my 18th birthday as she swore to never forget this joyous occasion of her life forever. 

I was dumbfolded when I learnt that I could not remember a thing! "Oh shit!" This is not funny. I tried so hard, as if I was madly searching for a needle in a haystack, the feeling was tremendously frustrating. It took me a few minutes before I could utter something out of my mouth. I just plainly said, "like you, I had so much fun!". But really, what fun?? I cannot even remember a thing. I then sat down, pretended to be using so much brain power for work and made myself squeeze every drop of memory juice out of the memory bank and this is what I gathered:

I had a surprise party planned for my 18th birthday! It all started with a long drive to One Utama where all 3 of us, Alison, Jessie and myself were dressed in black. Upon arriving we had to wait outside the restaurant for ages. Apparently we cannot be let in until they had to set the table up for the 3 of us. And so I waited patiently. While waiting, I met my friend, Bee Voon and I was totally surprised. We exchanged hugs and she said she was meeting a friend and so I let her go and promised to catch up. After a couple of suspicious minutes later, Aaron appeared at the door to welcome me into the restaurant and I was fully taken by surprise! There was a video camera and camera flashes when the doors were opened. And gee, all my friends were gathered there...Ee Jhane, Bee Voon (liar, she was late!), Renee, Elaine, Amelia, Kar Wye, Mei Chin, Evan, Bryan, Aidan, Koks, Steven, and some other college friends which I apologise for not being able to remember their names. Was a fantastic evening. Everyone was in black. I received a few presents, one being a jumper I've been eyeing on since forever from Miss Selfridge, few bottles of alcoholpop in celebration of my officially legal drinking age and a beautiful diamond pendent and a matching necklace. That's all I can remember. Of all the presents, the only thing I still possess is the jumper. Of all my friends, the only ones I still contact are a hand-full out of the lot. 

I wish things hadn't changed, I wish those friends never left, I wish I never left, I wish forever and ever meant forever and ever, I wish to re-visit every single detail, I wish to feel the happiness I felt, I wish life to be always a happy-18-year-old..I wish, and I wish, and I wish, and all I can do is *wish*...

We are watching Opera!!

This was the conversation between John and I on the way home from work last week...

John: Hey, we're going to watch Oprah!

Michelle: Okay...(in my head I was wondering, is Oprah Winfery hosting her talk show here?)

John: Is next week good for you?

Michelle: Should be fine, but is Oprah in Brisbane??

John: Yaaaaa...Like as if you didn't know??

Michelle: Oprah Winfery is in Australia?!?!?!? 

John: Nooooooo laaaaaaaa!! Why would we want to watch The Oprah Winfery Show?!?!?

Michelle: Huh?? Then??

John: Phantom of the Opera laaaaaaaaa!! 

Michelle: Oppsies!! *laughs uncontrollably thinking what an idiot she was*

John and I will be watching Phantom of the Opera on 25th April 2008 (which is the NZ day public holiday too!)...woohoooooo!! 

The white mask, the stalk of red rose and Andrew Lloyd Webber...I make sure I got it right this time around!!

International Food Festival

Tomorrow is our annual International Food Festival at our college. 

All students and staff are invited to cook a traditional dish of their culture. 

Gosh, cooking is not exactly my cup of tea...last year I fried mee-hoon which I swear not to ever do again because I was up until 1am trying to fry so much mee-hoon for 2 billion people, I had mee-hoon everywhere in the kitchen, it nearly killed me. It is at times like this when I desperately wish I was at the comfort of my own home where I can just pick up the phone and ring good-old-grandma! "Hello, po-po ar, I need some food for my 28 classmates for International Smiling Day (or some whatever celebration)" My grandma would just whack up some fried mee-hoon in less than 1 hour (she makes it look so super easy!!) or head to the markets to pick up some fresh (yummilicious) sponge cake...OOOoOoOoLaLa...!! 

Anyway, back to reality...I'm here thousands of miles away from good-old-grandma...a decision has been made, I'm making some KUNYAKU JELLY!! Heck if that is not Malaysian...siapa kisah?!?!?!? As long as I bring some food, which in this case...Asian food!!

Speaking of KUNYAKU JELLY, I had my moment of glory with it...As not many of you know, I taught in a kindy before I started college back in those days. During Teachers' Day, one of my students' parent bought me a super huge box of pretty looking yet yummy tasting KUNYAKU JELLY!! Such a moment pride, when I looked into the super huge box of shiny, colourful jelly staring at back at me...woahhhhhhh...such a not-too-bad cikgu I was!! I remembered hogging the box of jelly home and smiling from cheek to cheek bragging to my grandparents what I model cikgu I was to deserve such a lovely gift (I also had a total of 1 million photo frames, a few clocks and a few bouquets of flowers...okay I stretched the truth a bit, but seriously I had so many photo frames, it was not funny!)!! I can't believe I actually thought for a split second that I was a model teacher, hahahahhaha!! What subject did I teach?? ART!! Hahahahhahahh!! Well, that is what you do when you are 17 okay - think of yourself as invincible!! At least I know my self-esteem was all along on track, hahahahha!!

Anyway, back to the subject, I made some KUNYAKU JELLY...

Present for Someone Special...

John's birthday is around the corner...

Michelle doesn't know what birthday present to get him *scratches head madly*

I've got a few ideas:

1) Lomographic Fisheye Camera #2

He's into photography, I thought he might like a special camera which captures picture in a fisheye view. It's pretty cute, I like it. Now except, it uses film and knowing John, he wouldn't really like the idea.  

2) Tripod

He did say he needs a tripod BUT who in the world would dream of getting someone a freaking tripod as a birthday present?? Not me, therefore I'm not keen! But if all else fails, I know what to get la. This would be my fall back plan. 

3) Electric Guitar

This is a little over my budget but I think I might have a fat chance of fall for it! The fact that I will be leaving him here in August, he will be left all by himself and if he there is something he would invest his time on, I'd rather it be an electric guitar! Well, he's no pro at it...he can play the acoustic guitar and now he would like to learn electric. Hence the super idea for an electric guitar! He does have a few good musically inclined genes (as compared to yours truly!). Then again, would he invest time in sharpening his skills or is it just a hangat-hangat tahi ayam kinda thing??

4) Crumpler Laptop Bag

Okay, John does have quite a collection of bags. Does he really need to add one more to it? I don't think so. But this would be an easy present coz I know exactly what he wants and where to buy.

Well this is not too bad actually...I've got a few ideas...I just have work out which one to pick. I hate making decisions, but I'm a big girl now I better start having a mind of my own!! 

BBQ stinks!

Okay, barbeque sticks! As if you didn't know that yet!??!?!?

Today as part of my job description which includes "...and other relevant responsibilities given", I had to barbeque! For the first time in my life, I had to cook a massive lot of onions to feed hundreds of hungry students. And so I got right into it by ripping open a 1kg bag of sliced up onion and shoved my hand right in to grab a few hand-full of onion for the flaming hot pit. Now this was at 12pm okay. The time now is 11:30pm and I swear my hand smells like some disgusting body odour of some random person who's forgotten to shower for daysssssss!! 

I do cook occasionally and therefore fiddling with onions is no big deal to me. BUT seriously, my hand had never smelt this bad before! I am not kidding you, the smell of my hand makes me want to puke! Ewwwwwww!

Note to all: When (need be) to deal with large volume of chopped up onions, please do not attempt direct contact with any part of your skin to avoid vomiting sensation (you will thank me for this warning!). 

MH140 left for KL from Brisbane at 0015

Dad has left for home...no tears at the airport, very well done on my part!! =) In fact this has never happened before. I would usually flood the airport whenever I leave my parents or vice versa. 

HOWEVER, there were a few tears on the way home...

Text message from dad to Mich:

4got 2 fill the immigration form thats why took so long. Take care n love u! 

Text message from Mich to dad:

Do you need to fill a form? Returning home wad, oh actually have 2! I forgot 2 mention! 2 happy that all 30 kg luggage were through, he he! Have a safe and comfy flight home. See you in August! Love u lots! Muaks! If ur hand still bleeding, please ask the air steward for a band aid. 

Text message from dad to Mich:

Ok, bye n love u, nite nite!

Text message from Mich to dad:

Opps, no one 2 cover blanket 4 me 2nite! Nvm, 4 more months I'll be home! Love u lots! =)

Text message from dad to Mich:

(>"*<)

  (-,-) zzzZ!

(")-<')

sshh ..it's me putting a blanket on you, so that you won't get cold, have a warm & good nite sleep! Sweet dreams ~ love daddy.

Text message from Mich to dad:

Ha ha! Thank u! :) I'll sleep tight now! Good night! :)

Text message from dad to Mich:

Hope teddy will do a good job 2nite.

Almost boarding. Will sms u on arrival. Love u. Nite nite!

Yes, daddy's girl I am! For as long as I lived at home, or whenever dad's around, he tucks me in bed. I would crawl into my bed and after I've fallen asleep, he would sneak into my room and make sure all 4 ends of my blankie touch the 4 corners of my bed so that I would be tucked in warm and cosy. 

p/s: I love you dad!

Body Piercing?

21/03/2008

Mom: Dad's going to Brisbane next week.

Mich: Yay! I get to have dad for a week!

Mom: Ya, please don't fight...

Mich: Don't worry, we will not! 

27/03/2008

Mich: Dad, can I please get my belly pierced?

Dad: Better not...

Mich: Give me 3 good reasons.

Dad: Let me have a think about it first. 

Mich: Okay, now tell me why?

Dad: 1) Because you are normal - normal people don't do abnormal things 

Mich: But I want to be an individual!

Dad: 2) You don't want to deform yourself intentionally

Mich: But piercing is not deforming oneself, it can heal back if you decide to take it off. 

Dad: 3) Why would you want to inflict pain on yourself?

Mich: It's not going to be painful! Even if it does hurt, I would be the one bearing the pain!

Dad: Better not la...Your mom won't be very happy about it.

Mich: Ish (and pouts and sulks!)!

Dad's usually my partner in crime, but guess he's not big on body piercing. I would understand why he would object to a tattoo, but piercing?!?!?!?! I nearly managed to convince him when we walked by a jewellery shop selling belly rings. I nearly succeeded but in the end went home without a piercing yet again! ISH!

Anyway, dad's going home in 2 days...maybe I can get my belly pierced next week? *evil grin* Hahahhahaha!!

We haven't had any fights so far (sorry to disappoint you mom, hahahahah!!), just ongoing debate on belly piercing which heats up once in a while within the week. 

*I wonder why would a 24 year old seek permission from her parents to get her belly pierced? Pretty strange, but that's just me, welcome to my world!* ^_^

Does your boss bake?

Girafeee the sore neck giraffe!

Lay-by not so bad afterall

I've finally picked up my lay-by dress!!

I've waited one long week before I can call it MINE!! 

What's best is that I took advantage of the 25% off...WooHooOoOooOoooo!!

I refunded and repurchased (the sales person taught me the trick!)...

Was the wait worth it??

At least the 25% off made up for the anger burst from last week.

Will I lay-by again??

...Erm, don't think so!!

Lay-by

Lay-by, you basically pay a holding deposit on an item you want but don't really want to pay for it yet. In simple words, you cannot afford but cannot resist wanting ownership of the item. I call it, cheapskate way of shopping!! I have always been against the idea of lay-by. To me, if you cannot afford it, don't buy it!! 

Today, I became a victim of lay-by and I am so totally pissed at myself!! Why?!?!?! Because, the dress looked stunning and the moment I tried it on, I know it's going to be MINE regardless how much the tag says. As I was about to pay, someone told me to put it on lay-by (and he knows I'm totally against it, but somehow he always thinks I have no money, hence he always suggest lay-by!!). Why?!?!??!? "Just put it on lay-by la, nest week when you have more money then come and pay for it!" And, and...and I can't believe I succumbed to it!! I freaking wonder why?!?!?!? I have the money to pay for it...the dress is not that pricey after all. But why did I freaking listen to someone else's opinion - which isn't even beneficial at all!! What's the point of getting the dress next week when I want it NOW?!?!?!??! And to add to it, to lay-by an item, you have to pay an extra non-refundable $5 for service fee and the most important thing is that I WON'T BE ABLE TO WEAR THAT DRESS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Please just SHUT UP the next time you shop with me. If you opinion will not be beneficial, please just shut up!! Heard of the saying, "if you have nothing good to say, say nothing"!?!??!?!? This is when this saying come in real handy!! 

Shopping tip: Never bring a cheapskate shopping with you!! SUCKS!!

Michelle the Addict!

I've been shopping madly these days and it's becoming a problem. I acknowledge the problem - I'm a bargain sucker and my adrenalin pumps whenever I see SAVINGS!! Although some things (most things actually) I buy, I don't need them, they are more just to soothe my addiction. I'm addicted to bargains!! How can I not buy these shoes when they were discounted from the original price of $149.95 to $99 and now, final reduction 50% of the reduced price?!?!?!??!?! Tell me how can anyone resist?!?!?!?!? As a result, over the past 3 weeks, i purchased 5 pairs of shoes!! Clothes bargains were equally as bad!! Cutest pair of shorts from Sportsgirl, from $59.95 down to $29.95. As a result, I bought a pair in White, a pair in Mint and another pair in Yellow!! I also bought a few dresses. One of them, the best bargain among the lot were from $99 down to $70 and 50% off the reduced price. To my *surprise* *surprise* at the checkout, the dress was down to $50 and %50 off $50 makes it $25!! I also bought singlets from Giordano to wear as layers and they were from $25 down to $10!! All these bargains are seriously driving me insane!! I buy and buy and buy and get soooooooooo hyped up when I see the discount tags being thrown in my faceeeeeeeeeee!! Please don't get me started on lingerie and pyjamas!! I'm a serial shopper!!

Michelle: Hi all! My name is Michelle and I'm a Shopaholic.

Shopaholic Anonymous: Hi Michelle! We welcome you!

Second month of 2008...

Lots happened in this fresh new 2008:

1) Edison Chen and Cecelia Cheung Scandal

This I personally think is stupid! Why is the public so concerned over some fellow's personal life that it has been known as the 9-11 of Hong Kong's entertainment industry?!?!?!? What about spending the time and effort finding solutions to rectify our filthy environment?? Is there any positive impact for speculating scandals as such?!?!?!? It's their business, their problem!! Too bad, too sad for them!! 

2) The passing of the great "Happy Fruit" of Hong Kong, the late Lydia Shum

This I feel a little upset. Afterall, I grew up watching "Happy Fruit" in TVB movies, talk shows, reality programs and game shows. I'm sure TVB fans will miss her laughter and most of all her very cheerful and bubbly personality. She left behind her 20 year old only daughter and I do sincerely hope she remains strong through this whole mourning process. 

3) Queensland is flooding

From drought to flood! Not easy being the weather man here in Queensland. Changes from one extreme to the other. One minute we had farmers committing suicide as their crops dry up and die and the next we had people drowning and being swept away by the flood waters. Not complaining with the down pour of rain as the level of water restriction will stop rising and that would mean we can clean ourselves better when in the shower. 

4) Interest rates rise (again!)

This is not funny at all. Everything is rising in price - interest rates, fuel, groceries --> necessities!! But we've not heard of this one very important thing rising - our wages!! How would an average income earner cope with this?? Only God knows!!

Valentine's Day 2008

No flowers, no chocolate for me this year (not that I fancy being part of the victims of overpriced florists!)...

We only managed to book for a table for dinner at SONO last night - was a disaster!! Not the food but we argued over some mundane shit - as we do!!

Dinner was (as usual) good with a very tensed atmosphere as both head-strong people were not prepared to give in - welcome to our world!!

This afternoon however I had my surprise(!) I had lunch delivered to me at work. I had my favourite Chicken Namban, Taro milk tea with herbal jelly (slurpsssss!!) and a box of variety of 4 beard papa dessert! Yummy-dooooo-dahhhhhh!! 

Got picked up from work to get home (although home from work is only a mere 7 minutes stroll up and down the hill and up again), and was given a stalk of origami rose, hahahha!! Apparently, someone learnt to fold it on You Tube!! They do teach you some useful stuff in the cyber space these days!! For those of you who didn't manage to buy any overpriced roses for this occasion, perhaps try You Tube!! =)

My Addiction

I have quite a serious addiction ---> SHOPPING!!

My colleague and I have concluded that I shop out of boredom. 

There's nothing much to do here in Brisbane, therefore I shop. 

Shopping becomes a comfort thing because I link that to my shopping-Sundays in KL with my family. 

Each time I hit the shops, I spend money. 

Spending too much money unnecessarily is worrying...becomes a problem...an addiction problem!

p/s: Myers is having crazy clearance sale...50% off already reduced shoes, discounted lingerie from $5!! Hurry, check it out...sale won't last!!

Lesson No. ONE!!

Lesson No. One: Never lift up the cover of a covered toilet bowl in public toilets!!

I always get bitten...always bitten and never shy, that's me!!

Disgusting art work of mother nature is what I see each time I lift open covered toilet bowls in public toilets. Each time I remind myself never to let such mishap happen again - "If the toilet bowl is covered, leave it and move on to the next cubicle!" But over and over again, Michelle thinks to herself, "Aha, covered toilet bowl! Means some clean freak covered the bowl while flushing!" Wrong AGAIN!! How many times can one be wrong??

Folks, if you never get anything from reading my posts, please at least get this one in your head. A friendly reminder to all: NEXT TIME YOU SEE A COVERED TOILET BOWL, MOVE ON TO THE NEXT CUBICLE!!

Home Alone

What do I do when I'm home alone??

• Tidy up my room
• Blast the music
• Watch "Raising Helen" half-way
• Out to dinner with friends
• Paint my finger and toe nails
• AND I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED KNOWING I'M HOME ALONE!!

I think I'm so very spoilt to the core. I don't like being home alone and I think it all boils down to laziness...At least when he is at home, he does the cooking, cleaning, washing, bringing me water, passing me the remote control, bringing in the daily mail, empty the bins, bring in the wheelie bin, tug me in bed and turn off the lights!! 

I don't wanna go to bed because I don't like switching off the lights and walking into my bed in the dark!!

It's been decided...

I'm sick of Brisbane, it is time to move on...

Here is the plan...

I will be moving back to KL for approximately 2 years to further my studies in Managerial Psychology and at the same time (hopefully) gain some work experience in the field of corporate training/HR. Once my two years is up in KL, I'll probably be so irritated and agitated by the politics happening that I'd wanna escape the country. I will then return to Australia and hopefully start a new chapter of my life in my favourite city, Melbourne!! =) 

Sounds like a good plan?? Ahhahahah, that's the ideal plan...so let's all keep our fingers crossed, and hope for my reality to unfold the way I desire!

The tentative date for this plan to take action is set to be some time in mid September, and hopefully hit the books in November. 

As part of my performance review last year, my boss promised that she will try to persuade the Marketing Director to let me go on a marketing trip to Hong Kong (yay!)/East Malaysia (boo!). My boss has recently told me that the trip could take place in September. Grrrrr...every time she talks about the trip in September, I feel so darn guilty!! (I obviously have not told her my intentions). I'm suppose to give one month's notice, but because my boss is so nice to me, I've decided to give 3...and that will not happen till June. Looks like I'll have to feel the guilt for the next 4 months. *sighz*

Torn between two lovers...

Last month, I applied for a place to study at TAFE to study Advanced Diploma of Applied Fashion Design and Technology. I rang both TAFE and QTAC prior to applying and both advised that chances are really slim as the waiting list for students wanting to study this particular course is really long. Being stubborn, it didn't really bother me what their advise were. Paid $150 and applied for it anyway. 

A week after applying, I didn't think much about it. Went home to Malaysia for Christmas holidays. While in Malaysia, I realised how much I missed home and longed to be home with my family. As such I explored options for me to go back to Malaysia. Went to check out a couple of study options as well. Narrowed down to going back to work and studying at the same time. Proposed the great idea to my family and surprisingly, they couldn't be more pleased. More research were done and I found myself really keen with the idea that I could return back home to study in the comfort of my own home! Perfect! Time was great too. My parents were very encouraging. I left Malaysia very light hearted (usually it's the complete opposite - as I leave Malaysia balling my eyes off!), knowing that I will return soon after I settle my stuff in Brisbane. 

Returned to Brisbane with the greatest plan of the year. I find myself thinking more about going home each and everyday - not a day passes without entertaining the thought of being a student again back home. The timing was set for me to go home around about September this year. Everything is almost confirmed and settled. 

Two days ago, received a letter in the mail. First thought: "unsuccessful application from TAFE". Ripped open the envelope and it said, "CONGRATULATIONS!" and I went "Oh, shit!!" Now I am torn between two lovers!! It sucks to have choices!! 

At this present moment, not finalised but take a peak on what my thoughts are:

Advanced Diploma in Applied Fashion and Technology : Masters in Managerial Psychology

                                                                                             40 : 60

                                                                             Hobby sake : Practical 

I need to make a decision by the 21st January 2008. Hopefully by then I will not regret my final decision made. 

Michelle went Snorkeling

Last weekend, my family and I made a trip down to Pulau Pangkor which is an island off the coast or Perak in north-west peninsular Malaysia. We took a coach there via Lumut and then by ferry across to the island. There is not much to do there besides sleeping and playing by the beach. No proper shops, no clubs, no nothing...a very low-key tourist destination. The only highlight of the trip is that I went snorkeling! Was it worth it? No, because the fishes were all like ikan bilis and the corals being so sharp cut me everywhere. Would I go snoekeling again? Yes but definitely not Pulau Pangkor.

Farah's 23rd on the 23rd of December 2007!

Last evening we celebrated Farah's 23rd Birthday on the 23rd of December 2007! "HAPPY BIRTHDAY FARAH!!" It was an awesome party which Farah had organised. I truly am greatful for such a fun-loving and genuine friend. Farah was my saviour during the boring Uni days - we'd meet and bitch and gloat and sulk! We have so many similarities which proved the saying "birds of a feather flock together". The only two things that we differ are probably, the BRIANS and the BURPS, hahahaha! Farah is very intelligent and a serial burper.

Anyway, at some point during Farah's party, I had this sudden urge of coming back to live in KL permanently! For a while, I couldn't decipher which part of me passed the thought on to my brain, leading me to think of coming home. But you know what, I SERIOUSLY DO MISS HOME!! That is it! Nothing complicated and nothing sophisticated, I just miss home...I wanna be here, in this place which I am totally familiar and have friends whom I grew up with to do things with me, to listen to me, to chill out, to have fun, to party, to dance, to laugh. I miss being myself in my own home. I always say "home is where my heart is" and my heart is here, therefore my home is here. I want to come home to Malaysia...the only place which will forever be home to my heart. Should I, or should I not? Will I regret my decision? This is a freaking HUGE decision.

I was telling one of my friends that I am 24 now...and gee time is ticking!! I am 24 and I have not yet achieved all the things I wanted to achieve in my ideal life!! I don't want to be wearing a bagage of regrets in later days, feeling guilty about the "what ifs" and the "if onlys".

Michelle is in a serious dilemma!

Tis' the season to be silly!

And I've finally started packing after continuos shopping which almost gave me a nervous breakdown! I am still shopping despite the inner voice stopping me. Anyway, as Christmas is now only days away, there are lots of bargain everywhere, which I freely admit I gave in to temptations. I seem to get better and better at justifying the things I buy as presents...*Surprise* *Surprise*

One suitcase full of chocolates another full of things for under the tree! 

Question: Will I have space for some clothes?

Hint Hint: Not having space for clothes is not my biggest concern as the lesser necessities I bring home, the more reasons for shopping, muahahhahah!! 

Time of the year...

9 more sleeps to Christmas 2007 and I think I have completed Christmas shopping this year. I've seriously lost count of how many boxes of Lindt chocolates I've purchased! Gawd I wished people would just put in their requests for their presents. It's brains numbing trying to figure out what goes with who...phew! I don't even know if I have a present for each person but I've had enough! Enough of the hustling and bustling around in the malls and about. Tough luck if you miss out!

I'm currently overdose with Christmas dinners/gatherings/drinks/lunches. I've had one almost every single night for the past week and again, I've just about had enough! One last one before we call it a year (here in Brissy at least). Christmas lunch with the remaining colleagues on Thursday before I fly out on Friday. 

I've never felt this tired...I'm so tired that I cannot think straight, concentrate, and focus! Gawd help me! I just need to stop and rest! Although admittedly, I'm not doing as much physical work (which explains the weight gain), but mentally I'm freaking not coping! The brain is moving like 100 miles per hour and the heart is pumping 10 million times a second! I think I've had enough this year. 

I'm just so waiting to go home to my family and milk all the attention I possibly can in the world!! 

p/s: Market has finally concluded this week for the year! Will be a well deserving 3 weeks break for us before we reopen for business again next year! 

Christmas Lights

My first year witnessing Christmas lights in the suburban areas of Brisbane. We chose to visit the Calypso Court street which were winners from last year's best Christmas street. I have never seen so much so colourful lights in my life being lit in a residential area. It was fantastic!! Somewhat a magical moment. While I was there, I felt like I was lost in one of the Christmas movie scenes. Amazing! While we were on the way there (which seemed forever, because we took a longer route), Andrew mentioned about how much energy is used yearly for such events, and I was thinking to myself, so much about carbon emissions and green house gasses blah blah blah...wonder when will some smarty pants voice to put a stop to such activities. As society becomes more extreme in the things we do, ever wondered what would life hold for our future generations if more bans and restrictions are implemented?

Whatever the future holds...take each day as it comes...treasure what you have today as tomorrow may be different. 

Btw, only 10 more sleeps to  Christmas 2007!! =)

Conversation

Pepe: Haven't seen you in a while! Heard you're seeing someone. Who's the lucky girl??

Dodo: Hahhaha, what lucky girl? 

Pepe: The girl you're currently dating, dumbo!

Dodo: Oh, same old...

Pepe: YOU MEAN THE GIRL WHO CHEATED ON YOU MORE THAN ONCE?!?!??!? Gee, you're a REAL dumbo aren't you??

**God, please help some people who constantly leave their brains in the pantry!!**

Do you make my eyes roll??

It annoys the shit out of me when people do everything revolving around the subject, MONEY! Gosh, I know money is important, but when everything you do revolves around it...it can pretty well be SAD!

A: I'm really sorry that I scratched the car bumper
B: Never mind, we will worry about it when we SELL the car next time!
**Yeah, yeah doesn't matter if I break a bone in me, as long as the car is still able to maintain a high price!**

A: It feels like I've just swallowed a fish bone
B: You okay?? If not I'll BUY a bottle of water.
**Fine, whatever! Do I need to really have swallowed a fish bone before you can buy me a bottle of water??**

A: What would you like to have for dinner?
B: Maccas $5 meal!
**Well, yeah of course. Won't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out why!**

Some people are simply shocking with their money. The things they do and say. Gosh, they can be in denial all they want, but I truly think it's DISGUSTING! The more you give the more you will receive, guess some people just cannot grasp the idea!

You can tell so much about a person by the way the person views money. The way some people react to money is really pathetic. Somehow makes your stomach churns and sends your eyes rolling. I wish people who are like that take a good look in the mirror and realise how much discomfort your filthy habit has caused the rest of us who are trying to live in this world peacefully!

Today I Saw You...

Today I saw you from the corner of the coffee shop. I was sitting at the corner of the shop having fruit toast and butter when I suddenly saw a familiar image past my sight. I knew it had to be you. I have not seen you in the longest time. Each time while walking by myself, I would always steal some time to think of a possible chance of us crossing paths. I cannot remember the last time we exchanged smiles. Almost as if I could not remember how you looked physically. This familiar image was suddenly very fresh and sent shivers down my spine. I secretly hoped you recognised me but also having the fear of false hopes, I just kept to myself and had my eyes followed every inch of your foot steps. Suddenly, you turned, we engaged in eye contact, but I quickly broke it by blinking away as if I never noticed your existence. I cringed, not knowing what to do, dropped my knife and felt like a complete fool! He had a big smile plastered on his face and I could sense that he was walking towards my table. As he came nearer, I managed to put on a oh-what-a-coincidence smile on my face, under my skin, I knew every cell was jumping with excitement to have him noticed me. It has been years...it ended up with I-love-you-dearly-as-a-friend on the surface kind of relationship, but deep down when he told me he had a crush on this other girl, my heart felt like it has just been stabbed. This was the guy who put the idea of "soul mate" into my head. We once were lovers, but broke up and became best friends. Like as if becoming best friends with your ex works?? Total bullshit! Never before I had my feelings altered for him although the person who proposed for a break up was yours truly. "Young and naive" did not make sense to me before, did not even know of an appropriate time to put them in use. Anyway, he was approaching and in no time, I was in his arms! We hugged and he said something along the lines of "can't believe it's really you..." I was just melting and a stood there like a tree trunk! Not knowing what to say or how to react I just replied, "Gosh same!" By now I felt like a total idiot for deliberately avoiding eye contact with him when our eyes met. What a fool! As I was on cloud nine enjoying his presence and his familiarity, something happened...

Someone was constantly tapping on my shoulder. Who could it be? It was supposed to be a "you and me" moment and nothing should interrupt. By now I am almost annoyed by the tapping on my shoulder.

I turned over and opened my eyes and saw this person who does not even resemble an inch of the person in my dream. It was then that I realised...it was only a dream after all.


**Ever after, forever and ever, till death do us part, soul mate, true love...these will only ever be perfect in our other world**

Okay, I'm off now...going SHOPPING...*WooHoo!*

My dad...

I love my dad to bits...he's my all time partner in crime! My dad's always to the rescue whenever I get into trouble with my mom. Eg; my mom goes bananas whenever I spill drinks on the floor, and knowing the clumsy me, I do it all the time. My dad always helps me clean up my mess to avoid us two having to live with "naggy-mom" for a day, ahahahhah!

My Mom and I...

Miss my mommy...if mothers were flowers in the garden, I'd pick my mom! She's the best! I'm 23 and I still have everything prepared for me at home. I should really be embarrassed, but I figured, I should be thankful that I have my lovely parents to pamper me every second of my life! =) *Thanks mom!*

Cutie Pie...

This is Emily, my tiny-winy cousin...

Updating this blog was definitely not one of the many resolutions I have for 2007. As you can tell, this blog has been neglected for quite some time.

Anyway, this little bub is my new cousin back in Malaysia. I thought I'd introduce this little angel to all you readers out there. Her name is Emily and she is our new baby at home. Mom sends me picture message of her every so often and each time I receive a picture of her she looks different than the last time. She's such a cutie. Although I've only spent around about 3 weeks with her last time I went home, it feels like I've known this little bub forever and I miss her so much. When I went home couple of months ago, she was just learning to lift her neck and all she did was sleep and feed, sleep and feed, sleep and feed. Now this little darling is learning to imitate facial expressions and rolling around like a Rollie-Pollie-Ollie! Gee she's cute!

Happy New 2007!

And so 2006 came around for a bit and left. Now, welcome 2007! I've gone back to KL and back! It's been a week since I've arrived back in Brissy...nothing much has changed except the year and the degree of my home sickness. I've been back here a week but I'm still missing home terribly. Mostly miss spending time with the two most special people in my life and miss being pampered and spoilt rotten. My brief 3 weeks trip back was really good. Well spent with family doing the things we love - shopping and food! Gee I think I'm starting to miss having a car too. It just makes things so much more convenient. My parents were most of the time home with me while I was back in KL. We went places, did the shopping (I started the day I arrived!), visited friends and family, well almost the whole deal. I must say this was the shortest time I've been home for. I usually stay for about 2-3 months, but now that I'm working, guess I don't get the luxury of doing so anymore. Well at least 3 weeks were better than 3 days.

The year 2006 was a memorable one. Highlights being first job, first retrenchment, 23rd birthday, new addition to the family, great colleagues...nothing to complain about I'd say. This year however, I welcome the year believing that it'll be better than the last. I have personal goals and ambitions that I want to achieve and I do hope and pray that wisdom be with me as I embark this new year. No great resolutions whatsoever, but just keep my family safe, keep my ideas growing, keep opportunities coming and may everyone enjoy this great year! Live life to the fullest! *Cheers!*

p/s: To the friends I met back in KL, I really am thankful and happy that we all managed to take some time out to meet. We might all look (a bit) different now that we've grown up (a little), but deep down inside we're all still very much the same. Same old bunch of silly little girls...Girls just wanna have FUN! =)
To those that I didn't manage to meet, please do accept my apology! I totally didn't mean to not meet, but just that I didn't have the time to do so.

I'll upload some pictures as soon as I find my SD card reader thingy.

Droopy EyEs...

I have a strong feeling that I will take over my dad's droppy eyes! I have a choice to take over mom's or dad's...but dad's I think they'll be! Reason being that I rub my eyes so constantly and too darn hard...I give no mercy whatsoever rubbing my eyes! It's really a bad habit that I should wean myself off! The only time I do not touch my eyes is when I'm asleep. Besides that it's quite a trick for me to leave my eyes alone. Don't suggest rubbing chili on my hands, because I'd rather rub my eyes and leave them to sting than having to leave them alone! Gosh I'm weird!

Burnt...!

I've been out in the sun for a couple of hours during the weekend. The sun wasn't exactly very fierce (as compared to other worse days)...was a good 26-28 degrees, I reckon. Didn't think it would burn any part of me. Gee was I wrong! I had this itching sensation on my shoulders yesterday and today it has transformed into what we call a "painful" sensation as it's starting to peel...eeeeeeeks!

Oh dear Sun, have mercy on people living in Australia, I beg you...please!

5 days...!

I'm going home in *five* days! Omg, can anyone tell I'm ecstatic?

Hope poor John recovers by then. John's been sick...I'm guessing it's overdose of junk food from last week, early morning shifts plus excessive workout from the new Nintendo Wii! Mind you, I'm also recovering from sore muscles after being hooked onto the new Wii! We played vigorous action games like tennis, bowling, golf, boxing, fishing, table tennis, billard and lots more all from the comfort of our living room! That is really a very clever invention from the Jappies! *thumbs up* Anyone considering getting a set of Wii, I'd say go for it! It's worth every penny and most of all it's fun! As John says, "they're turning us into kids again!" Yes...again indeed!