Thursday, July 23, 2009

Let Him Take Control

How would I fulfill 60 hours of direct clinical service when I currently only have 16 hours?
How would I work with a population of my choice when choices seem so limited?
How would I find time for my already planned trip when it's supposedly "crunch time" now?
How would I complete Practicum 1 when it feels so far from completion?
How would I get myself out there so that I can start paving my own path for my future?

Flooded with many questions reflecting current insecurities of being overwhelmed by workload which seems so difficult to complete. To top it off, a trip has already been planned for Brisbane since months, and months ago for the duration of 3 weeks from 10-28th August, would clash right with Practicum Assessment scheduled on 17-21st August. My excitement for the trip had turned into anxiety and distress knowing that I will not be able to complete my required direct clinical service of 60 hours - in fact I am far from even having banked in 1/2 the hours. By now I have passed the whining and whinging stage where I blamed the poorly structured course as a whole, lack of communication between many parties, no clear and precise information given, having the "as expected" attitudes, having lack of clients to share among trainees, etc, etc, etc...

Going to bed last night was not an easy thing to do, tossing, and turning, and hoping for a solution to birth that would solve my current distress. I can't remember how long it took for me to finally fall asleep, but rest assured it took me quite some time, as I recalled checking the time for more than 5 times! This morning as I opened my eyes, I felt really tired. Tired from thinking, and being extremely worried about my current situation. Not knowing what to do, I suddenly felt hopeless and far away from the exit in the tunnel. So much was going through my head that I took a deep breath and looked out the window. As I do that, something kinda knocked some sense into my head as started praying...

I prayed for direction from God. I prayed for the Lord to grant me opportunity to utilize my talents, so that I can be used in areas of my passion. I didn't know where these words came from, but I continued seeking wisdom, seeking clarity of the mind, and seeking courage to do what needs to be done. The word "opportunity" resounded many times, I was clearly seeking a window of opportunity to express the desires of my heart.

Sometimes when you don't know what to do anymore, and when impossibility seems like the only word in your vocabulary, try prayer!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" Phillipians 4:6.

Sometimes surrendering everything to God is the best way out. I prayed believing that I would be heard...

Miraculously, within hours I see opportunity knocking at my door step, one after another...Today had been a fruitful day, a day I shall never forget... *SmileS*

1 comment:

John said...

It felt like it was only yesterday. Well you've successfully conquered yet another semester! Congrats!