Saturday, August 21, 2010

Lucky Star



 Today I'm quite undecided if I was feeling encouraged or discouraged...

Encouraged by one thing + Discouraged by another = Neutral Feeling? (Seems kinda right!)

Your presence meant a lot to me. I like it that we can share everything together. I liked it even more that your face was the first thing I saw today after having a somewhat excited yet anxious time. My happiness was only really felt and expressed as soon as my eyes met yours. You're wonderful, and I do hope you know it!

Maybe it really does not matter if I was encouraged or discouraged afterall. Most important of all, I was happy and I still am. In the end, it's your simple gesture that opened my heart to being in a state of contentment, love, satisfaction, joy and pleasure!


Thank you, my lucky stars!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Drunk

drunk
–adjective
1. being in a temporary state in which one's physical and mental faculties are impaired by an excess of alcoholic drink; intoxicated: The wine made him drunk.
2. overcome or dominated by a strong feeling or emotion: drunk with power; drunk with joy.
3. pertaining to or caused by intoxication or intoxicated persons.
 
I do feel like I'm drunk, and I am serious about it. These few mornings I find it so difficult to get out of bed, though having 6-7 hours sleep each night (too much compared to my usual 4-5 hours sleep). My eyes wouldn't cooperate with my wishes to wake up, and my brain keeps telling me I need more sleep thus keep making me all grogy! Seems like my mental faculties are impaired by an excess of WORK! Constant worrying about work is making me a little stressed and as a result my defense is sending messages that I need to sleep so that I can avoid attending to my work! Oawrhhhhhhhh! 

Sunday, August 15, 2010

What is love?


I seriously cannot imagine life without you.

I'm so used to having you around, knowing that you will always make my days brighter...You are the most precious gift I can ever ask for! That thing that you share so generously with me?

That's love...definitely!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Love Letter

Betrayal

To trust a friend is not something you can do overnight. It's very hard to find someone who really genuinely loves you and cares about you. Ideally a friend is a person who offers love and respect and will never leave or betray you. It's very hard to find a friend who will stick by you through thick and thin, yet they can be easy to lose.

You guessed it, I have just been betrayed! In fact the wound is still very fresh and I can still feel my heart racing at the thought of it. To be perfectly honest, I am not affected too badly by what was said and who knew what and who started it and things of that sort. What was really hurtful was that I thought the friendship that we shared was mutual. I didn't know that you derived pleasure out of spreading news about me to the rest of the world. I know it was nothing overly wrong to be telling another person about me. But what was wrong was that you took me for granted and did not respect me as a person. You did not even clarify anything with me before letting the news go like wild fire to another person, which led to another person and another person. Why did you do that? What were you thinking? Were you envious? Were you curious? Were you just being plain ignorant? Or was it intentional? I am really very hurt by what you did. Why did you pretend like you knew nothing and went on to tell another person as if you were there to witness what happened to me? And After passing 1/2 the information, you decided to finally check in with me? And like as if that wound was not deep enough, you said your intention for asking me out last night was just to find out what actually happened? You were passing news about me using second hand information you got from another person! Is that how friendship works? You have no respect for your friend? You know what is more hurtful? It is the fact that I trusted you and I thought we could be friends forever...

Honestly, why didn't you just stab me with a knife? Least I can deal with physical pain with the help of some dressing and care. Instead, you chose to emotionally scar me forever...

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Reminder

Two things I would like to highlight today:

ONE: CLIENT FIRST
We always talk about clients' interests first. Can this really happen? Essentially, your motivating factor  to stay in this profession will have to come from your very own personal interest. This personal interest can be related to personal experience or plainly an interest chanced upon or being planted in you since young. Whatever it is, my point is that your interest in the helping profession will have to have grown from your very own heart. The helping profession is unique in that you will need to know that you want to do it. You need to do it out of your own genuine interest for your passion of helping others. Because helping others require you to have compassion for others, which can only come from within. When I put it this way, essentially when you have a good session with your client, you are actually doing it out of fulfilment for your own interest. Now if that's the case, then there will be no "client's interest first" anyway, is there? I say this because, going back to the initial interest that has drawn you to the helping profession, in it you are expected to help, and by helping you would aim to have a good session with your client, and when you do finally achieve that good session, you may ask "whose interest was put first?" to achieve such outcome? Well, the way I see it, it is the therapist's! Because from the very beginning, the therapist got into this field to help, and by helping means to try to achieve a "good session" collaboratively with the client. And when the client's achieves his/her goal(s), it enhances the interest in the therapist, meaning the therapist continues to be inspired - she wins!

TWO: THE BEST SO FAR
Ever been put on an assignment that intimidates the shit out of you? The thought of it makes you all uneasy, you find it difficult to piece the puzzle together due to lack of cooperation and information, you just want to give up! I have felt all of those and more but I chose to persevere. The journey was an experiential one, and the outcome was amazingly amazing! I have never felt so much satisfaction in doing something until I felt what I felt today. Indeed I was grateful to be given such an opportunity to experience such an awesome feeling! Through this, I am honoured to say that I now see the word "perseverance" on an entirely new level! Great respect for such a word so simple yet encouraging!

"Only through perseverance will you achieve incredible breakthroughs!"

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Your Stress or Mine?

In the midst of having constant deadlines to meet such as assignments to turn in, reports to write, proposals to submit, presentations to prepare, boring textbooks to read, I scare myself to think that the time I spend procrastinating, doing work-unrelated activities way overpower the time I should indeed be spending on perfecting my work.

Hence, that makes me wonder if I am truly stressed out due to excessive work load or did I create unnecessary stress by playing too much when in fact I should really be channeling all my energy to doing work? I can only imagine how productive I can be if only I harvest all my efforts into work alone. Sometimes, I am pretty sure I can juggle both play and work equally and still be stress-free because when I sit down and lay all my work out, I see that I really do have time to do both! But I also noticed a great flood of pressure pour all over me and I start to feel an overwhelming pressure of stress when I see my peers drowning in stress.

So, is this stress business genuienely mine or is this here due to peer pressure to compete or peer pressure to be seen as being normal? Reason why I say that is because, most of my classmates are contsantly in bad shape, often sharing how stressed they are. Am I dramatizing my stress level so that I feel part of the group? Did my stress resonate from the group? Or purely from work? Or from not actually feeling stressed? I am definitely not saying that I can handle stressful situations any better than my peers, the fact that I'm feeling the stress at the moment says a lot about my ability to manage stress. But the fact of the matter is that sometimes I catch myself plastering a stressed face simply because. So is it simply because I am expected to feel stressed or am I stressed over the fact that I am not stressed enough?

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Wednesdays with Wise Ting

"You need to find the core of your being. Only when you know the core of your being, is when everything that drives you fall into their respective places. The core of your being will attract good things to you like how a magnet does. Those who have not found their cores are those who live their lives being unstable, often have moods being seen sailing from high to low - like a pendulum swinging from one end to the other unknowing where they should belong and want to belong..."

Just when I thought it to be another ordinary Wednesday out with Wise Ting, I was left to ponder upon something extremely thought-provoking and somewhat deep. For a random person who doesn't usually think too hard about things, this was quite a powerful challenge for me. I would like to think that I'm usually one who is quite strong, stable and sure of myself. This question lingers in my head now as I try to decipher what is the core of my being...What is the magnet that is working for me? and perhaps, you too?