VERGE OF GIVING UP...I'm balancing myself on one leg now at the edge of this funny thing called patience and perseverance. This is beginning to feel quite tiring, I must admit, like as if I were diseased...*sigh* Sometimes people tries to understand by being understanding, but really I don't think anyone truly understands how it feels like to be right where I'm standing right now. All the crap about self motivation, determination, enthusiasm, persistence and sanity which had once upon a time kept me going and kept me strong are just flowing out of my head bit by bit...I'm losing it, sinking myself into a deep deep hole and probably never ever gonna see this thing called "light" ever again!