Confusion

Something in me makes my heart go soft for you...
I'm not the kind of girl who would tolerate nonsense
An eye for an eye is what I'd do...
You want to be mean, I'll play mean too...
But with you, over and again you pull your dirty tricks on me
I'm still finding reasons to forgive and respond to your occasional kindness
Why? I ask myself why?
You make my voice seems powerless
Powerless with confusion
I gather no courage to speak to you as you could bite without warning
Yet I find myself trying again and again
I'm telling you now how sick I have become...
Though I keep telling myself not to make allowances for you
I can't seem to stick to my words
Lots of frustration and irritation rile up within me
No one likes to be hated
But I secretly hope you hate me most and never ever speak to me again
I know I will not be at peace knowing I have an enemy in you
But I know I'd rather appreciate the consistency of you being mean
So please decide, evil from hell or angel from heaven...
Please don't be both because you're confusing the hell out of me!